Glastonbury 2025
Second bite at the Glaston-cherry
Naturally I’ve been absolutely inundated with messages asking where the posts have gone. Had some more stuff on the post-uni Benney-dorm trip but I accidentally deleted it so please accept my sincerest apologies.
If all the memes are true then why was last week so bloody fun!?
Monday
True to form, the journey to Somerset was not without stress as my phone fell under the driver’s seat on the way to the station and I missed the train - at least I didn’t leave my ticket in London this time round. We arrived at the farm at 7pm, set up camp by 8pm and headed for a sunset at the sign, which we missed, by 9pm.
One perk of volunteering is access to crew bars before and throughout the festival. Disgraceos didn’t feel quite as disgraceful as it did last year but still what a place! Although Platform 23 was missed, the new Luna stage offered a rail replacement service of sorts.
Tuesday
With sleeping in past 9am impossible in the heat, Tuesday morning meant a few trips back to the car before the punters arrived. Years of smiling nicely at dinner ladies paid off as The Fox and Badger served up the brisket and jacket potato number pictured below with no questions asked. With a lengthy queue for the Toe & Hitch, fellow volunteers Steve and Chris took us into their Loving Arms.
Wednesday
I don’t think it’s controversial to say that the assistance provided in the accessible campsite is invaluable to some people but there are also some chancers about. One woman openly admitted that she had never used a mobility scooter before and didn’t really need it. Maybe she had a guilty conscience because she tipped it over while watching us put up her tent and tipped us £20 each for our troubles. The end of this Wednesday shift really feels like the start of the festival.
Car Henge, which kicked off the evening’s entertainment, puts out an impressive sound considering the soundsystem is made from repurposed JBL speakers. In the background a sizeable queue formed at Terminal 1 as rumours began to circulate that the prints on sale for £15 were legitimate Banksies.
Forgetting that until the festival officially starts on Thursday there is a volume limit on speakers, I headed to the main stage for the opening ceremony. The unamplified circus show was a nice idea and looked very impressive from up close but it seemed a strange decision not to announce it. Much of the crowd assumed that the speakers were broken. Before 22:30 a man was squirting milk out of his udders at NYC Downlow. Luna and the Arcadia Bug provided some noise but the same limits applied. On a site of 250,000 people I somehow managed to bump into Sam and Anna, a lovely couple who adopted me in Colombia.
Departing the SE Corner we parked up in an open mic tent which was coincidentally being orchestrated by a band we had seen playing a rogue piano by Woodsies. Yes I did Never too much by Luther Vandross and no there is no footage. A fellow musical genius leant me his maraca for a while.
Thursday
Getting immediately restless on Thursday morning I headed straight to the healing fields. Laughter yoga was not the healing I wanted but it was definitely the healing I needed. Cat Googe, who referred to herself as the laughter queen was a bit of a piece and far too self involved for a reiki practitioner; I don’t think I’ll be going on her 6 day retreat to Portugal. I fully lost it when the character next to me, pictured below, surreptitiously pulled out his phone and started recording while forcing out a giggle.
Apparently I’ve never had an original thought as I saw a couple of these "Streets Won’t Forget” tees around the festival - I thought about this as a business idea a while ago but never followed through. It did make me smile to see a Lomana Lua Lua shirt under slightly different “Barclaysmen” branding.
Camping north-west means two things: long walks back from the naughty corner and starting the day with a mandatory boogie at San Remo. Haseeb Iqbal, Jamz Supernova and Luke Una got the blood pumping nicely. With our second shift starting at midnight, we had to pack the fun in. MJ Cole Presents: Sincere at The Glade was packed and fun. Lovely blend of De La Soul All Good (MJ Cole Remix) into F*ck Me Pumps.
Due to technical difficulties, Firmly Rooted was not up and running for Mia Koden’s opening set but, fortunately, Max & George took me under their wing for a substitute session at Babylon Uprising. First Sir Hiss B2B Dusty Dan then one of my favourite electronic sets of the weekend with a B4B from Papa Nugs, Manami, Fonzo and AAEE. Thank you to CJ & John for adopting me there. This left just enough time to catch La La blow the roof off with an I’m too sexy dub that I’m still looking for the ID on. Thank you to Callum & Chloe for adopting me there.
The graveyard shift was sobering.
Friday
Despite finishing at 8am I was determined to make it out to see Corto.Alto open West Holts after Henry and I saw him in November. Even though his style probably lends itself to smaller venues and he had other sets across the weekend, it was an extremely pleasant way to start the day. At this point in the weekend I started taking photos every time I got goosebumps - here’s a selection of “goosey checks”.
Fair play, Rizzle Kicks did look fun but so was Paco Amoroso & Ca7riel. As I proudly told an Argentinian member of the crowd, 37 million of the 38 million views on their Tiny Desk are me alone. There’s something hypnotic about that video and they recreated that feeling so well live. Seeing the Forshaws in all their glory was exactly the pick me up I need at this stage.
A few unannounced acts would shape the next few hours as Olivia Dean announced on her Instagram that she would be playing an acoustic set at Strummerville - naturally the place was mobbed. Apologies for disrespecting you last year and actually this year as well but Nectar Woode (below) is next up. In the meantime, news spread fast of Lewis Capaldi’s much anticipated return to the Pyramid Stage. I don’t even class myself as a massive fan of his but one of the goosebump pictures above was from that set. What a redemption arc, what a journey. He spoke so well about his struggles and sung even better.
All I could think at Wunderhorse was: “wow I’ve never been to this stage before it’s nice”, “wow I’m really drunk”, “wow he’s getting really low for those guitar solos”. Having only recently become familiar with the band’s game, Jacob Slater smashed it and they’ve got some serious bangers.
Big sets at The Glade can be a bit of sh*t show but Kettama B2B IPC was SERIOUS. Opting out of the Friday night headliners, including what looked like a legendary Loyle Carner set at The Other Stage, in order to head to the SE corner early, we headed to a Skream disco set at which I got lost. By this point the Temple was already full for what sounded like a tasty lineup of Dr Dubplate, Oppidan, Joy Orbison and Bullet Tooth B2B Silva Bumpa. Bumping into the same kind souls from Friday, a Block 9 double header of Peach X Saoirse X Moxie then FREAKENSTEIN provided an enjoyable alternative but the froggy stuff does get a bit repetitive for me eventually. The dance floor in Blind Tiger was pumping.
Saturday
Possibly the best day I’ve ever had at a festival - it definitely felt like it at the time.
Firstly, check out this soundcheck at Levels.
Bob Vylan aka Two Bobs in a Pod aka The Metallica Murderers aka The Grime Band Killers aka The Slam Dunk Hooligans aka The Tracksuit Terrors aka The Cutest Band in Punk Rock aka The Friendliest Band in Rock n Roll aka The Most Violent Boyband in the United Kingdom aka The Most Important Band in Britain aka The Fred Perry Mafia aka Talk to us nice or you won’t talk to us twice were f*cked up.
Kneecap followed that up by shutting down the 30,000 West Holts Area with a powerful message of support for the people of Palestine and their heavy hitting tunes. Respect to the festival for not caving under the pressure to ban them from playing but the BBC should have showed it live.
Ezra Collective made me cry. Musically incredible, and what they stand makes it even more powerful. On a personal level, Dance, No One’s Watching was the soundtrack to a very happy period in my life.
Skepta, probably one of my top 5 most listened artists of all time, is a ridiculous pull as a last minute replacement act even if it was only for a 30 minute set. I Spy one track missing, but other than that no notes - Jammer was also on the farm.
Scissor sisters was not a movie but a feel good summer classic for all the family. I may be speaking out of turn here but a probably a more significant gay icon than Charli and most certainly more significant for a generation of gay men and women for whom were persecuted for their love. Clearly I was getting quite into the performance but I wrote that down before Sir Ian Mckellen gave his speech so I stand corrected. Another thing that occurred to me as I saw a small minority of the crowd get offended by the “graphic” content was that if sex positivity was taught in schools then maybe it wouldn’t be so taboo and more young people would use engage in safe sex. I then thought about the irony that this taboo, which stems from conservative ideology, may be to blame for unwanted teenage pregnancies while these are the groups which propagate myths and support legislation on abortion. Potentially a bit heavy while listening to I don’t feel like dancing. Thank you to Nina Poscotis for spinning Take Your Mama on the way back from Wizard of Oz rehearsals.
After Skepta the crowd soured quickly. Quite frankly the brats can do one. There’s having fun and then there’s having fun at other people’s expense and being down right obnoxious. Probably not all of them. Would have loved to see Doechi but I’m hoping she’s got plenty of shows to come! As far as I know, no one under the age of 50 went anywhere near Neil Young. The festival may be slightly moving towards the “boring corporate snooze fest” he claimed it was but there’s no denying the fact that he is just old.
Jungle B2B Groove Armada sounded REALLY good through the Arcadia sound system.
Sunday
Admittedly I was an hour late, but the Sunday 8-4 shift was brutal. I unblocked more sh*tty portaloos with a sh*tty stick than you can shake a sh*tty stick at.
A short walk from camp, Black Country, New Road at Woodsies eased me back into the day with a refreshing sound. Without ex-frontman Isaac Wood, the group exclusively performed tracks from Forever Howlong - Happy Birthday was a highlight.
Over at the Pyramid, Nile Rodgers and Chic came with all killer no filler, reminding the large crowd of his production catalogue. This was the real legends slot, not Rod the Racist.
Parcels delivered. My lamb gyros from the special delivery van, was so beautifully packaged that it was getting double takes. A perfect set for the sun to set at and they just have such god damn good voices, hair and trousers.
Already days deep, I’m not sure there’s another act that could have got Sunday night pumping like The Prodigy did. A sea of flares and smoke from the crowd mirrored a spectacular light show for an electric homage to Keith Flint. See here for a more comprehensive review.
Monday
Leaving the car park on the hottest day of the year was rough but not THAT rough. Thoughts and prayers to everyone back at work this week. Probably much easier to all out enjoy the festival when you know you can sleep for 16 hours per day afterwards. See you in 2027!
Volunteering
A spot on the Access Stewards team requires 3 x 8 hour shifts throughout the festival. Our shifts were Wednesday 8am - 4pm, Thursday midnight - 8am & Sunday 8am - 4pm meaning we barely missed any of the acts we wanted to see even after the pesky shift gremlin messed with the schedule. Although the work is unpaid, you get free entry to the festival and it is a great backup if you can’t get a regular ticket. There is a really lovely sense of community in the Spring Ground campsite and we met a lot of the same faces that we volunteered with first time round in 2024, not to mention the hot showers. Definitely beats late nights flipping burgers! However, you do need to be invited to apply so shoutout to Will Maggs for plugging the gig.
Cost Breakdown
Shop (Food & Drink etc.) - £120.24
Drinks on site - £21.65
Food on site - £20 cash tip from first shift = Free
Last minute new sleeping bag and tent pegs - £11.50
Diesel from Bath - £10
Ticket - Free
3 x £11 meal vouchers - Free
IOU Beers - Free (for now)
Total Spend: £163.39
P.S.
Thank you to Laura O’Neill for asking the hard hitting questions. Despite the excessive Nitrous Oxide consumption of a vocal minority, the scousers are more of a laugh than most of the tw*ts in teepees. While on shift, one such punter asked me if he could speak to someone “who had a clue what was going on” - bit rich.
9pm pyramid stage, Saturday 2025.
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